~Being the Mother of a boy, last from son up...to son down~

The women, behind the man, behind the badge....

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sunday we went to a Family Day cook out for all the troopers that work with my husband. Since Chris has just been in his new district for only 3 months this was the first time I meet the wives of the other troopers.


Meeting them really opened my eyes and made me stand back and reflect on the past 13 years Chris has been in the patrol. Out of the 18 troopers that were attending, only 2 couples had been married longer than Chris & I.....boy, that'll make you feel old...and I am only 35! And one of the couples had only been married for 8 days.

I could not help wondering if these wives really understand what they are in for. What they were about to face, the long nights alone, the fear that their husband may not come home, all the over time(without the over time pay), working holidays, an empty place at the dinner table, anniversaries celebrated on another day because they happen to be working on the real day, having to fend for yourself when a hurricane is coming because your husband has been called to the coast to help with the evacuation, missing school plays and ball games, babies 1st steps, saying your good night over the phone instead of side by side in your bed.

I wonder if they even half way comprehend how their lives are going to change and how independent they will have to become to survive. Well, let me just tell you, it takes work...alot of it...and patience....alot of it....understanding.....alot of it. And I must confess, at times all this was hard for me. Are these new wives going to understand when they receive a call from their husband saying that he isn't going to be pulling up in the driveway at 6pm when his shift ends cause he just got called to a wreck and now has to go down to the court house to process the drunk and then head over to the hospital to get the victims statements that were taken off in the rescue squad. And will they be wide eyed and pleasant as they scramble to answer that 3am phone call with communications saying "Can I speak to Trooper so-in-so" all within the first ring, praying they picked up before it woke the kids?

Will they get chills while they watch their husband dress for work the same way I do, even after 13 years? And will their hearts breathe a sigh of relief when they are awakened by the sound of the Velcro being pulled apart on his bullet proof vest at 4am? Thanking God for that wonderful sound that means he has made it home.

Will they learn to hold fast to the simple things that mean so much? And how long will it take them to become the women, behind the man, behind the badge?

12 comments:

Mary said...

I had no idea what you and your hubby go through with his job. You are such an amazing wife and mom. I hope those other wives can learn from you. I am glad your hubby has been able to come home to you.

Hope you have a great week!

P.S. Your hat will be mailed today or tomorrow! :)

Drew's Mom said...

I don't know how you do it... Thank you to both of you.. all 3 of you... for the sacrifices you make for others.

Cathy said...

I understand a little of what you are talking about because I have been a dispatcher/clerk for 34 years for a police department. No I'm not married to a police officer, but they become like a brother or son after awhile and we worry about them. I'm always concerned that I may send them on a call that they won't return from. It's a scary business!

I say "Thank you to you and your husband and to all the men and women who work for our law enforcement community in the United States.

T said...

Very eye-opening esp. the part about breathing a sigh of relief when hearing the Velcro and the empty place at the dinner table. It is something most of us never really think about because we aren't living it. I don't think I'm strong enough mentally to be married to a police officer or to be a military wife. You all sacrifice so much and get little appreciation in return so, thanks...

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That was really beautiful Trish. I respect both of you so much for the courage and tenacity to have this job and responsibility- as a trooper for him and wife for you.

ModernMom said...

Wow. What an amazing post. Sounds to me like you could be an incredible person for some of those new wives to talk to. My hat is off to you and all the wives of the troopers and police officers up here in Canada:) Yeah you!

WhisperingWriter said...

Fantastic post. My husband is a military cop and I worry about him. It's not as dangerous but when he puts on a bullet proof vest, I can't help but worry a little.

Jules said...

Wow, what a new perspective I have for those men....and their wives.

scrapwordsmom said...

Trish...this gave me goosebumps...especially the part about hearing the velcro on their bullet proof vest. Thanks for sharing!!!

Leslie

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I couldn't do what you do... you are an amazing woman to stand behind an amazing man who puts himself in danger for the need of others!

Angie said...

Thank God for Men like him and the Women that love them. Can you imagine a world with out that kind of sacrifice??

Carla R. said...

Thanks for sharing Trish. I understand how you might feel as I am married to a firefighter. I try really hard to be the understanding wife but sometimes, I would like to have a family meal or activity without fire buddies or people in the community calling a lot. He works long hours as well as he has a 7am-3pm shift M-F and is on call the rest of the time. There is only 2 paid firefighters and the rest are volunteer. My hubby is the Chief and has to attend as many calls as he can. I don't worry as much about fires as I do gas leaks. Thanks to the men and women and their families who sacrifice to make others safe.

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